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Is Abstinence the Goal?

For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in
sanctification.

1 Thessalonians 4:7

One week in my sixth-grade Sunday School class I asked the kids how "far" they intended to go physically with the opposite sex before marriage. Here's how they answered:

Boys / Girls

Holding hands, occasional hug 1 / 1

Occasional light kissing 6 / 7

Passionate kissing, close hugging 9 / 15

Passionate petting, touching in

private places 2 / 0

"All the way" 1 / 0

As I wrote the results on the board, I was stunned. These were kids from Christian homes who attend a solid, innovative, Bible-teaching church. If this was how far these kids intended to go before puberty was in full bloom, then what will their actions be when their hormones hit the bloodstream and they are alone with the opposite sex?

That classroom experience helped me realize that many parents today are not helping children maintain their innocence. Another way of saying this is:
Abstinence is not the best goal for our youths today.

Please don't misunderstand me; abstinence is a great goal, but it's just
not the best goal. It's just not enough to train our children to be
virgins.

Trust me when I say there are thousands of Christian youths who are
technically virgins, but who are sexually experienced beyond one's wildest imagination. Notice, I said, "Christian youths."

Passionate kissing and hugging is a very short step away from more direct sexual behavior. How many times have you heard someone say, "I didn't want to go all the way, but I just couldn't stop myself"?

You may wonder why I would include a series on sex education in a couples devotional. My reason is simple: Sex education is much more than talking to our kids about biological functions. What it really involves is character training and the shaping of convictions. Our children must be able to handle one of the most powerful forces in life, the sex drive, and to do that they must learn how to make godly choices.

And they need us parents to help them. More in the next devotional.

 

Discuss: How far do you want your children to go sexually before they are married?

Pray: Ask God to give you wisdom and courage in protecting the innocence of your children.

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Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

 
 

American Center for Law and Justice

 
 
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