Understanding Sexual Differences
I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.
Song of Solomon 7:10 A TV talk show host was interviewing one of Hollywood’s biggest male stars, a man known for his prowess with the opposite sex. At one point, the host asked him, “What makes a great lover?” “Two things,” he said. “First of all, it is a man who can satisfy one woman over a lifetime. And it is a man who can be satisfied with one woman for a lifetime.” I wanted to shout “Amen!” Husband and wife must be committed to satisfying one another’s physical and emotional needs. But they also must both take it upon themselves to understand each other’s differing needs and attitudes about sexuality. A frequent problem is that husbands expect their wives to be just as interested in sex as they are. In a survey in Tallahassee, Florida, 230 married couples were given a list of 96 possible leisure activities and asked to pick the 5 they enjoyed the most. The list included watching TV, gardening, going to church, visiting friends, sex, athletic events, reading and sewing. Among the men, 45 percent picked “Engaging in sexual or affectionate activities” as their first choice. Of the women, 37 percent ranked reading first, with sex barely edging out sewing for pleasure! Most men want physical oneness, while women desire emotional oneness. The man is stimulated by sight, smell and the body. The woman is stimulated by touch, attitudes, actions, words—the whole person. A man needs respect and admiration, to be physically needed, and not to be put down. The woman needs understanding, love, to be emotionally needed, and time to warm up to sexual intimacy. As you understand your mate’s needs you can sacrificially act to meet them in loving, caring ways.
Discuss: How can you communicate to your mate that he or she is important to you sexually? What differences have you discovered between the two of you in this area? Pray: Ask God to help you and your mate understand one another and develop an intimate knowledge of each other—emotionally, spiritually and physically. --- |